sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
