Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
