I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
