i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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