I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We have started to decorate penises.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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