So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
