Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
