ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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