I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
