Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
