nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
