Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This is my gift to your gina
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
