Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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