My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
