Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
