Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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