NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
