maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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