Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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