does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
