The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
