Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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