walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
