It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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