so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
