We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize