last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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