The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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