I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
third nipple confirmed
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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