I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
