i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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