i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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