Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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