All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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