it was like eating out sand paper
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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