my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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