she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
