I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
