Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
