you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
