heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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