Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So many bounce houses so little time
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
