I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
