I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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