I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
