so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
