I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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