why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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