I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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