I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
