Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
