Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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