are you so shy because you have an std?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
