I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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