My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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