it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
