I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
