wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
