first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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