I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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