Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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