Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
