we'll go far in life on tits alone.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
